I'm My Own Worst Enemy

So, after a day of doing well by attempting to stick to my lifestyle change, I sabotaged myself again today. I had chinese food for lunch, and then pizza for dinner. Granted I didn't eat all the chinese food in the meal and I only had three slices of pizza, the toppings of which were grilled chicken and goats cheese. Oh and four chicken bites.

I know I shouldn't have done it. I should have ordered a salad from the pizza place. They do offer them. But no, silly me. I still haven't figured out how to eat right when it comes to eating (or ordering) out. I know what I'm ordering is wrong, but I can't seem to stop myself.

Which, yes, makes me wonder why I'm even bothering? I mean seriously. If, at my age, I can't figure out how to order healthy shit for me to eat, food I enjoy immensely, why am I bothering this attempt at change?

And then I walked the leftover pizza down to the fridge and had a huffing and puffing issue. And that answered my question.

But I need to stop sabotaging myself. Hubby and I were watching X-Weighted today, and he brought up the point of the people doing it for themselves, not for anyone else. And doing it BY themselves, with no help from anyone else.

Well, I'm sorry. But I do need help. I need HIS help. And if he can't see that, if he doesn't understand that - then I have no idea why we're still married.