List after list after list...

Ok, so I'm going to go crazy. I have list upon list upon list of things to do and say and be and....GAH! My initial to do list is so long, Gene Simmons tongue is jealous. And then there's lists that branch off from the main to-do list.

SO. MANY. LISTS.

First off, yesterdays trip to the gym was less than stellar. Yes, I made it there, but came off the treadmill seven minutes before the end of my scheduled thirty. Don't know why - felt very weird yesterday. Had to force myself to go. But couldn't force myself to stay that last seven minutes.

I feel like I'm not doing myself any good just by doing my walking. I know I should get on the machines, but in truth, they scare me. Not because they'll harm me. I have an anxiety attack just looking at them. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I don't know what I'm doing, or maybe because I'm alone when I'm there? I just get a really oogy feeling when I walk by them. I know I have to get over that. One thing at a time.

I'm getting a little concerned because my left forearm has been giving me some issues. Nothing major - just tingling and minor pain. I will go see a doctor. I just want to lose a LITTLE bit of weight before I do. I want to show him I'm working on it - for real this time. Most of the other times I've tried, I've quit when it's become too hard. I'm not quitting this time. I'm just sorry that I wasted so much of my life just accepting what I was instead of striving to change it.

I have one item left for my final project for class, and then it's DONE. And then time to choose my next class. Not to mention galleys from Alison to proof and then return. Three short submissions due by next Wednesday. And then Sommer's zombie call - and it's barely started. THAT'S due at the end of the month.

I feel like this: (and since I couldn't find a clip for it I'll just have to give you the line). It's from the Princess Bride - when Humperdink and Tyrone are talking by the tree:

"Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I'm swamped."

It's how I feel. I'm going completely insane with the amount of work I have to do. Not to mention how completely broke I am. This month is a bad month to be broke - Mom's 65th, Nanny's 85th, Diane's birthday, Tami's 40th. Yep. And me without a ton of hours from Northwest because I didn't think ahead and plan out my days off better. AND we're going to Buffalo this weekend. First time without dad

I really am not feeling well again. Don't know what's going on with me. It's not one particular thing. Nothing hurts, nothing really aches. But there's a dull...something behind my skin that I just don't get. But I think two days at the gym in a row is good. I'll take today off and go tomorrow. Assuming we don't get the monsoon we're expecting. I need to get my inner "goddess" in line. And I need to finish this project, otherwise my GPA is going to fall so low, there'll be no saving it, at least not in this lifetime.

So, skipping the gym today wouldn't be too big of a disaster. As long as I PROMISE myself that I'm going tomorrow. Which I will do. And as long as I get things at home accomplished, which I will do. 

And since this blog post is all over the damn place, I'll just settle for saying see ya soon folks. (Pshaw - yeah like anyone's reading this anyway).

Later!